Christmases of a child to the Married Woman

As we my wife, daughter and son in law attended Midnight Mass I could not help to go back in time to see the little girl that was God's gift to us. The child whose life was my responsibility to nurture and love and protect, I was shown as I glanced to the married woman whose head leaned on her husband that I have been replaced as the primary man in my daughters life.

Though this realization has been hard for me, I know that the foundation that we as parents have instilled into our daughter will guide her and her husband through what ever life has in store for them. Anxieties of the future will become pleasant memories of the the past as my wife and I have come to fruition.

Merry Christmas My Daughter and My Son in law

To My Wife for Christmas 2009

Thirty years have past since our first Christmas together as man and wife.

Some of the dreams and expectations that once were to be our future have come and are now pleasant memories of what was.

Those anxieties of the unknown future are now bringing the wisdom and understanding to deal with what lies ahead in our remaining years.

We have and will continue to have Christmases that will provide insight as to why we were joined together to fulfill the destiny that God designed for us.

So to God I say thank you for giving me these thirty years with the woman of my dreams and the life that dreams are made of .

Merry Christmas Sweetheart, with all my love

It's the Life in your Years

This past week I came across this phrase from Abraham Lincoln " And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

I found this phrase to be very appropriate for our thirty years together. We began as two people that were not looking for anything or anyone yet we crossed each other paths and joined hands to take a walk in life's journey that is now thirty years in the making.

The life that we have shared has allowed each of us to progress to personal levels of joy and contentment which were missing before we met. Our coming together allowed us to shed personal baggage from our past that had no place in our future.

Our Love produced a daughter that two parents could not be more proud of for she shows the best of the two of us.

As a team we have managed to create a home that neither of us could have ever imagined when we were children. We have worked and saved to provide levels of security that we at times were not attainable.

We have managed to share our good fortunes with family and friends so that we have learned not to take anything for granted.

I can go on and on but we will come back to the simple fact that the life we have shared this past this thirty years has been amazing.

Happy Anniversary, the next thirty may be for just us if we are allowed.

Mama

Angelina Maria, my mother, the woman that gave birth to me twice in my life. How could that be?

Within nine months of my actual birth I was afflicted with the polio virus which immediately took its toll on my developing muscles on the right side of my body. Not knowing what was happening to me and that the little Italian mountain village that we resided had no medical facilities, she brought me from village to village seeking anyone with knowledge of what was happening to me. After several failed attempts she found a doctor that was well aware of what I was experiencing.

His advise to my mother was that I be given a infusion of blood everyday for a weeks time. Though our village had no medical facility or even a doctor, my mother believed that she needed to act immediately for she was told the my muscles would deteriorate rapidly. Since my uncle was a medic in the army, she convinced him to do as she was told. Each day for a week my uncle took blood out of my mother and injected into me. My mother risked her life in order to give me a chance at normality. So when I say my Mama gave me life twice, she did. Now 61 years later, I have lived a full life with only slight physical limitations.

My Mama's love has no limits in sacrifices, for she always subjected herself to do what she had to. From coming to America by herself to re establish her citizenship, working for 43 cents an hour to save enough money to send for us. Her 87 years of life has always been about her family, that they had what she was denied because of life's circumstances.

I can go on and on to show that my mama's love is within in me and will remain for all time.

Happy Mothers Day, Mama

The Un American President

This was the week that the silent majority awakened from a somber sleep that has allowed someone to attain the highest office in the land who in my opinion is un American. Hard working people, that mind there own business, take care of there families and usually let well enough alone, took to the streets in the form of Tea Parties. The tsunami of events that have transpired since October 1, 2008, till now are making everyone take notice. Trillions of dollars in lost wealth in the markets, government bailouts of banks and large corporations, government takeovers of publicly held companies and government borrowing of trillions upon trillions of debt without explanation has instilled a fear that has paralyzed the economy. We are at a stand still from fear itself.

Why am I afraid? The way I see it Government created the problem. They forced banks to make loans to people that couldn't afford them and did not have the ability to pay them back. This was start of the Housing bubble. Create a greater demand and inflated prices will ensue. The Federal Reserve and Congressional oversight took a blind eye to how financial institutions were disposing of these toxic assets which eventually contaminated the entire financial system. Government then states that the entire world economy is in jeopardy if immediate action is not taken within the week we are doomed, thus the TARP was instituted. These actions were not the responsibility of the current President , however, the man he appointed Treasury Secretary - Timothy Geithner was the architect of this scenario. I fault the Bush administration for rushing this process all in the name of expediency without questioning what the ramifications would result. The Markets become totally unsettled and I along with everyone else loose 30-40% of our wealth in such a short period of time. The question comes what do we do now? Result was the electorate decides to vote for hope and change without any substantiating evidence other than speeches.

During the transition the Markets settled and began to rebound only to collapse once inauguration and this administration began to unveil there agenda all in the name of recovery. Again all the little financial gains are quickly evaporated. All the presidents men continually bombard the airwaves of doom and gloom. Large and small businesses see there sales decline 30% and higher. Layoffs begin to mount into hundreds of thousand per month with no end in sight. Unemployment is 8% to 10% depending on which part of the country you are in. The question has to be why was this fear allowed to prevail unless it was contrived and wanted in order to achieve an ultimate goal?

Rahm Emmanuel, the President's Chief of Staff, continually boasted" that you can never let a crisis go to waste". The calamity that the American people along with the rest of the world was something that could not go to waste in the minds of this administration. With each passing day crisis upon crisis are revealed to the public for the sole purpose of passing multi trillion dollar " Stimulus Package". Nationalizing banks and Auto Industry are being floated about, along with National Health Care, Cap and Trade for the purpose of expanding unions and global warming nonsense. This excessive reach by this President in just 100 days can oly be summized that he wants an immediate change in the culture of the United States. Why would someone want to change the most successful prosperous country that the world has ever seen? Especially to change it in the image of our European counter parts.This makes no sense to me.

The vetting process was not done and if it was it was not revealed as to who this man is? What do we know of Barack Obama? He was born in Hawaii ? He has only produced a certificate of live birth but refuses to make public his actual birth certificates, Many court cases have been filed with still some pending in the Supreme Court. As a child he was raised and educated in Indonesia and was influenced by the Muslim Madras schools. Once in the United States he became a product of Affirmative Action education in his college years. Again he refuses to disclose any of his college records. His life has remained sealed to the public, yet he says that he wants a very transparent administration. Double standard anyone!

How does he view " We the People"? His Homeland Security Secretary just released a memo that highlighted " Operation Vigilant Eagle" which states that veterans coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan should be monitored for they may have tendencies to fall into the extremist category of the right wing of the United States. Also those of us that listen to Conservative Talk Radio , are people of faith and took part in the Tea Parties are also extremist that should be monitored. Is this someone that when he took his oath of office to up hold and defend the constitution of the United States is one that believes in "We the People" or just some of the people some of the time.

His recent trips overseas, he continues to diminish and be apologetic for the United States being the United States. Why is he ashamed of this country being the greatest economic engine of the world? Does he feel guilty for our standard of living ? Yet he sure likes the perks that the citizens of this country pay for to experience a new life style that he could have never achieved on his own. Somewhere in this short journey, He has concluded that his vision of economic equality is what we seek. To be an American is about being given the opportunity to achieve what ever someone wants to achieve if they are willing to work hard without a great deal of Government interference. This President appears only to believe in Big Government getting bigger. This country was founded on the premise of limited government. The past 100 days has been Government, Government and more Government, I like many others can only conclude this man is America's first " Un American President"

What About Me?

What about me? This famous line comes into play in almost every one's life some sooner others later . How we deal with it provides us with either the greatest happiness or never ending
despair.

As a man, as a husband and as a father I've asked this question throughout my life and now I am able to appreciate and evaluate the answers that I responded to. When I was born it was all about me for I was brought into this world by two people that showed they love and admired each other through me. I was not a by product of casual passion nor some one's self pleasure. My birth was wanted. My being brought joy and happiness to my parents. This period of life was all about me. What I took from my parent's individualism though I did not understand at the time it shaped my being for the rest of my life. My fathers analytical ability along with his unending energy and drive has been at the forefront of my adult life. My mothers determination , vision and love is with me in everything I do.

The process of finding and nurturing love is complicated at times for most men are driven by there hormones and not there head and heart. When these opposing factions are aligned by that special person ones views and direction take a new meaning. Now the statement changes from " What about me to What about us?" Two people with different upbringing and different points of views have to now adjust to what will be there goal and direction. Will one be strong while the other follows and visa verse.? Will the two present themselves as one? Will love and understanding prevail through strife and turmoil? Will everyday distractions take hold and change one's outlook towards the other? Life brings many choices and tests which may enhance or diminish our character. In thirty years of marriage I've learned to adjust, adapt and most important I've grown in knowledge.

Now the greatest and most amazing aspect of life is bringing another life into this world. The responsibility of another life that is totally dependent on you is frightening, however it defines your life like no other. Holding that helpless being for the first time brings out emotions and feelings that you have never felt. Again the statement changes from " What about me to What will I have to do? " In my case my mind told me that my life was no longer mine as long as I was responsible for the child that we made.

How quickly the cycle of me turns to the cycle of you!

My Easter Message

The message of Easter over the many years since the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ has become so commercialized that is camouflaged by flowers, candy, bright colored cloths ,bunnies and baby chicks . I found myself going on the internet to see what would come up when typing " The Message of Easter " Surprising enough there are many entries that show the phrase" born again" and its origin. The Apostle Paul on his journey to Damascus was shown the light by god that changed him forever, thus we have" born again christian, my lord and Savior".

The reason that I am bringing this up is that they are points in time that simple or dramatic events occur that have impact on how one sees things from that point on. This morning we had a conversation though simple enough it was profound for both of us were able to voice our views though different and yet similar which both of us excepted. This showed that neither one of us ever have to hold back what is within us but accept the fact that we can see things differently without worry of offending or causing hard feelings. The bottom line is that we love each other and are committed to one an other.

Happy Easter, My Love

When Did You Know

Was it when our eyes first got a glimpse of each other as I was walking down the isle in the office where I was starting my new job?

Was it when I asked you to go out with me, Though I was not looking you had looks and that special something that lured me in?

Was it when I told you that you had a choice of a night on the town or a simple night at my apartment where I would cook for us?

Was it when we began to talk and reveal some of our most inner secrets that opened the doors to who we wanted to be?

Was it when we kissed and touched and made love as though we had known each other for a life time even though it was our first night.?

Was it when we decided to live together after only a few weeks and you needed to go out with your former beau and let him know what you were doing and I worried the hole time thinking that you may not be coming back?

Was it when my car broke down and we had to walk six miles back to the apartment thinking who had seen us together since nobody knew that we were even together?

Was it our wedding day after only four months and again you where given a choice of a big wedding bash or a simple little gathering friends and family and once again you choose the simplest?

Was it our reception at our apartment with entertainment at the pool and bringing our parents along with us to the grand canyon for our weekend honeymoon?

Was it when we faced our first financial crisis in the decision as to whether we ask for help in buying a new car or we looked to ourselves to come up with a way to make it happen?

Now thirty years later is it that we have raised a beautiful daughter , have been through the ups and downs and the reality that Father Time is starting to make his statement on us?

Is it that with each new crisis, whether financial or family we turn to each other to put proper perspective and outlook as to what to do?

What I know is that each and every day that we have been together I have loved you and the time that we have left I will love even more.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

Walk With Me

My first words of love where that of acknowledgement when I said " Last night I looked at you. As I glazed into your green kissed eyes, I could see that there would be no lies. As I touched your body of gold, I could feel the love and warmth that it holds. As our bodies became one, I knew that we won; for I have fond my woman and you have found your man. As our lives have now begun, I know that we must not run. All of this and more came to me, for last night I looked at you. "

Now that our decision to love is to be sealed in the eyes of God and man, I promise to walk with you through all the joys and pains that life has to bring.

With your hand in mine, I will uphold and respect the decision: To love you, To honor you and to cherish you, for better or worse, through sickness and in health, from this day forward, till death do us part; so help me God!

The Season of Remembering

As I looked at you this evening I am still able to see the young woman that I fell in love with so many years ago.

Those green kissed eyes that I looked into that first night to see a future that has come to be are still showing a future to be.

The dreams of yesterday have been filled and blessed with the raising of our daughter to the woman that she is today.

All the passions and desires that so filled our early years are now the understanding and contentment knowing how two people truly become one.

The times of turmoil made us both realize that life is compromise and that two people are different but yet the same.

Material things that seemed so important then have turned into gestures of amusement and disbelief.

Though there are many things still left undone the preparations of today will achieve the means of tomorrow.

Our physical being have changed with time, however, the beauty that I saw then I see more today.

All my love now and tomorrow.

A Blink of an Eye

With a blink of an eye I'm at St Joseph's Hospital 23 years ago at the birth of a beautiful little girl, Jaclyn. As she was placed in my arms and then heard my voice her crying stopped and she rested her head on my shoulder. From that monent on my purpose in life was to love, protect and guide her to whatever life had in store for her.

With a blink of an eye I'm back in our family room as she crawled to a chair lifted her self up and took her first steps towards me.

With a blink of an eye I'm at our kitchen table designing special name tags for her first week in kindergarten.

With a blink of an eye I'm at the Cresant Hotel were we celebrated her 8th grade graduation.

With a blink of an eye I'm at Sunday Mass at St Helen's parish where a beautiful red headed girl named Molly stood in front us not knowing that she and Jaclyn would become the best of friends.

With a blink of an eye I'm looking at a young woman who is graduating high school and beginning to experience the insecurities of adult hood.

With a blink of an eye I am here seeing my daughter taking her vows with Garrick knowing that she is always my little girl but now a woman, and a wife with a family of her own.

With a blink of an eye Jaclyn and Garrick can too experience what those that have come before them have.

Questions for Immigrants - Legal and Illegal

Being a legal immigrant citizen that has been in the United States for the past 55 years, I am confused as to why anyone comes here. I know why my grandparents first came here in 1919. I know why my mother came back in 1952 and then sent for us 1954.

My questions are for you and those that believe that our constitution and laws don't apply to everyone equally.

1. Why do you come here?

Is it that your country of birth does not provide the hope and desire to lift you andyour family to thet level that you wish to achieve?

Is it that you simply want the benefits and the opportunities that America provides and nothing else?

2. Why do you not want to learn the Language?

Is it that you just don't want to?

Is it that English is to hard to learn?

Is it that you have no intention of becoming American?

3. Why once you get here that you are compelled to try to get Americans to conform to your cultural needs rather than visa verse?

Is that you recognize that Americans have become so politically correct that they would rather conform than offend?

Is it that you want to make it your home but you want it to look like your country of birth?

4. Many of you risk your lives to get here , again Why?

Is it that this the only place that allows you to earn more than you could possibly earn in your home land?

Is it that here you are judge by your efforts and not by the class of your birth?

Is it that your country of birth is so down trodden that you have no alternatives but to leave?

Is it that you can take from here and elevate yourself back in your own country?

5. The people that supposedly speak for you as a group, do they have your best interest at heart?

6. Are you being helped or hurt by there efforts?

7. What would happen to you in your country if you did exactly what you have done to come into this country?

8. Does your religion define violating laws as immoral ?

The main point of all these question is this If your country is all that you aspire to then why not use all the energy, money and activism to change it to what benefits you seek rather than to change this country because the only consequences is that you will achieve what you have left and what you did not like in the first place.

The Journey of Nicolino to Nick

To understand the present and future one has to go back to the past and in my case a little mountain farming village in Italy were I was born with the name of Nicolino. My class of birth which would ever remain with me while in Italy would be the son of peasant farmers. I mention this because the class system base society is a deterrent to personal growth and achievement in Italy and many parts of Europe.

Towards the latter part of 1948 I along with another infant were afflicted with the polio virus. My mother seeing what it was doing to me brought me from village to village to find anyone that knew what was happening to me. After going to a number of Villages she managed to find a doctor that understood the affliction and advised my mother as to what she should do to curtail the physical damage that I was experiencing. Throughout my life I have been examined by many doctors and many cannot believe that what was done to me could have stopped the virus from leaving me an invalid. This experience though a negative at the time actually turned into a positive for me because it instilled a determination in me that would carry with me the rest of my life. This early lesson was one of simply not giving up and excepting the cards that you are dealt and make the most of it.

My mother having been born in the United States but raised in Italy due to my grandfathers early death wanted more for her family so she made the sacrifice to reestablish her American citizenship by coming back to America in the latter part of 1952. Her Aunt and Uncle sponsored her and helped her find a job whereby she could save enough money so that my father, brother and I could also come to the United States in April 1954. Many sacrifices on both sides of the Atlantic had to be made to make this possible. To put it in proper perspective my mother was being paid 43 cents per hour, yes she sacrificed considerably.

The boat trip to the United States had finally arrived. If you have seen the movie Titanic then a visual of the accommodations can be imagined. We were in the lower deck just like Leonardo DiCaprio. Being only six I managed to explore every inch of that Ship, however, my father and brother were bothered with sea sickness the entire weak or so that we were on the ocean. Another lesson from this was that I always need to find out for myself what is in front of me.

As I mentioned I was six years old and had not seen my mother for almost two years, when we got off the boat I was somewhat hesitant to go to her, for she had been gone for so long. There were so many more changes in store for us. Once we arrived in Ohio and got settled we were informed by our American relatives that we need to learn to fit in and the first step was that our names had to be Americanize, therefor my father went from Michele to Mike, My brother went from Celestino to Charlie and I went from Nicolino to Nick. We also were told that we needed to learn English so that we no longer sounded foreign and the final straw was that we were enrolled in a summer camp setting so that my mother and father were able to go to work and we could be looked after. This was probably the worst week that my brother and I had ever spent. As mentioned earlier many sacrifices had to be made and this was no exception. As was the custom at the time many neighborhoods were inhabited by people of the same nationality therefore communicating was not as difficult. Though some talked to us in Italian everyone enforced the need to learn English. By the time my brother and I started school in September, we were both speaking English. The school would use us to translate for other kids that had just arrived from Italy. We like our American relatives informed them of the same indoctrination, we are in America and we need to be American.

How things have changed since we arrived in the 1954. English is slowly becoming the second language. An American identity has to have a hyphen attached to it. American pride means that you are offending someone else. To become successful you must have cheated.

I started this journey by saying that we must look to the past for answers to the present and our future. America is at a crossroad whereby all the individual factions within are slowly taring apart the very fabric of this great country. My question is Why and for What Reason?

Remembering PC

This early morning of August4, 2008 was not the day that the Ialenti family wanted to wake to. PC our beloved Peaches and Cream succumed to age and now holds a place in our our eternal memories. As I refelect PC's initial couple of months of life must have been very sad and tramatic for her demeanor was gaurded and solomn.

When I first laid my eyes on this fuzzy little ball of fur , I knew that she would be the one that Jaclyn would love. The first time I picked her up she couldn't hold back her excitement and peed all over my pants, that was it she was ours.

Once she arrived at her new home PC put a smile on her that she maintained throughout her life. What a smile it was for everyone that came into contact with her would comment on what a pretty happy dog that she was. As she grew her statue became statuesque, her long golden fur with white cream fethering and curled umbrella tail would make heads turn. This dog was simply beautiful. Though she was a magnate for attention she did not always let everyone get near. Her goal in life was to make her family happy and to protect them. Once her fur on her back would raise and she would show teeth she would not let anyone past her. These ten years have come and gone to swiftly for none of us anticipated yesterday. She must have sensed that something was happening to her for she decided to shower us with extra love and attention.

To say that this was a dog was an understatement, she was a member of our family and will be missed dearly. PCwe love you and always will.